When you start out on a birth recovery journey, it’s helpful to acknowledge what actually happened to you. Here are some different ways to do this:

• Talking out loud
• Writing a birth story in sentences and paragraphs
• Using a spider diagram or table to order your thoughts or
• Writing on different coloured post-it notes to represent different things

Here’s how it Post-it note processing works:

1. Take a pile of different coloured post-it notes and some pens.
2. Choose one colour and write the parts of what happened on multiple notes.
3. Choose another colour to note down who was there/what they said or did.
4. Choose a third colour to note what you felt or believed at different stages.
5. Now move the post it notes around, perhaps exploring what happened chronologically, or under a theme about what you felt.
6. Invite your birth partner to join in as they can add things from their point of view and you can learn from each other.
7. Add a final colour of notes to acknowledge what you are happy about in your birth story. No matter how difficult your experience was, there may be treasures buried under the trauma that you don’t want to miss.

Two advantages of using post it notes for processing your story:

1. You can add to them over time when you remember new things and
2. You can reorder them as you need to. There may be themes you need to explore in your recovery journey.

I encourage you to be gentle with yourself as you use this process. Be compassionate and curious, rather than beating yourself up for what “went wrong” . Don’t forget or avoid no. 7, capture the treasure of your experience no matter how small those gems might be.

Why not try this process for yourself today?

Here’s a summary what Sarah said about the post it notes process:

“I just want to thank you for turning my life around. I feel like a different person and regularly using methods you have taught me to keep appreciating life. I feel content and that’s one thing I really wanted to feel again, thanks to you I am there. Completing the birth story together with my husband and the post it notes really has stopped the immediate trauma response for both of us. He even said the other day that’s he spoke about her birth story with his friend as it was in conversation and he didn’t well up with the overwhelming emotion and was able to talk about it.

Thank you so much, I feel I have my sparkle back and that’s all thanks to you ❤️

Love, Sarah xx”

Final note from Aileen:

I’d love to help you on your journey to recovery. Email me to find out more about My Birth Recovery 1:1 and group support from My Birth Support CIC on aileen@mybirth.org.uk